


Shiver

by Proteaking



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Minor death, Multi, Werewolf Kuroo, Werewolves, haikyuu!! - Freeform, kurooaka - Freeform, major death, werewolf daichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:25:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9622136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proteaking/pseuds/Proteaking
Summary: Keiji lives in Mercy Falls, Michigan. A very small town surrounded by a beautiful forest. When he was younger, Keiji was attacked by the wolves that lived in Mercy Falls. Although one wolf stopped the pack from eating him. After that, Keiji was always outside trying to get closer to this wolf.(This is inspired and based off the series made by Maggie Stiefvater. Please support the original author.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The basic plot belongs to Maggie Stiefvater and the characters used in this belong to Haruichi Furudate.

Keiji  
21°F  
The sky above me was dull. Snow was falling at a leisurely pace, and wolves were all around me. A few scraped at my clothes while others nipped at my exposed skin. It was so cold here in the woods, I couldn’t feel my toes. I’ve heard stories from my mom and dad about the wolves in the forest. How I should avoid the looming trees. I was sitting outside on the tire-swing when one snatched me, and the rest is a blur. Now, here I am, about to be eaten by wolves who were too thin for their own good. I couldn’t tell how fast or slow time was going, but at this point, my ankle and arm were bleeding. After a few moments, I heard something approaching. It was another wolf. Only a few stopped their snipping, but after a low growl, they all backed away. I looked away from the sky to gaze at the new wolf. Its fur was pitch black, and its eyes were surreal; a beautiful gold. The black wolf walked up to me and started to lick my bleeding arm. 

Tetsurou  
87°F  
In the summer, we’re human. The cold bitterly snaps us in half, leaving us as wolves with little to no knowledge of our human lives. But warmer weather is much more forgiving, easing us with love and affection. I do remember that during the winters that I always keep an eye on this one boy. He lives right on the forest’s edge, and he’s always reading outside. He has beautifully shaped eyes, and his hair cups his face graciously. When I was younger, Haiba had the audacity to snatch him for food when we were starving. Sawamura said that we never eat humans, but he and the rest of the pack tried to anyway. That’s the first time I met the boy. He looked so calm even though he was just attacked by beasts. The boy didn’t look alarmed at all. That scared me. His life. A warm, delicate human life was about to be thrown away. So I stopped them. Ever since then I've always made sure he’s okay. He leaves beef and ham by the forest edge for me, although in my wolf induced stage I rarely eat it, not trusting him with instincts coursing through my veins.   
I met him six years ago, and now that I’m 17, Sawamura said that I should get a job for the summer. I work at the local bookstore in our small town, convincing my manager that I come into town every summer for vacation. The only reason I actually got a job is that, just maybe, I’ll see the boy. And oh sweet god he just walked through that door. I’ve worked here for almost a year and finally, there he is. He’s with two other people, one has bright ginger hair and has a camera around his neck, and the other is very muscular with black and white hair sticking up in odd places. His taste in friends seems to be…. unique. The boy shot one of his friends a smile and I swear my heart had stopped.   
I guess I was staring at the boy too much to be considered normal because the boy with ginger hair cleared his throat. I snapped my eyes to him and he was standing right in front of the cash register. When he had my attention he smiled bright enough to blind someone. “Hi,” he said sweetly “sorry to bother you, but you see here, I’m a photographer.” He said, lifting up his camera for emphasis. “I’m working on something for school, and your eyes are just gorgeous. Do you mind if I take a picture of you?” I was suddenly overwhelmed with nerves. What if someone recognized my eyes after seeing the picture, and put two and two together? I laughed quickly and nervously. “I, uh, no. I’m sorry. I’m quite camera shy..” I stammered out, my voice cracking. He seemed to visibly deflate and sighed. “It’s alright, I get that a lot.” He hummed, seeming to be chipper once again immediately.   
After that, the boy’s buff friend slammed a bunch of books on the counter. “Here’s everything!” he squawked. Unfortunately for me, the boy I really wanted to talk to was crouched in between shelves, not even sparing me a glance. I frowned, grabbing the books on the counter and putting them in bags. I checked out the books slowly, hoping that the boy would eventually come over, but my frown only deepened when he didn’t. “Your total will be $26.41,” I said with a smile, and I nodded in farewell when he paid for the items. Before I knew it they were all leaving. The ginger nudged the boy on his way out, “Come on, Keiji. Let’s go get some ice-cream.” and then he was gone. But his name was Keiji. I repeated the word over and over in my head. Keiji Keiji Keiji. My frown quickly turned into a wide grin, and I jumped off the little stool propped up behind the counter. I did a little dance and pumped my fists into the air. His name is Keiji. Sweet. 

Keiji  
38°F  
He was there every winter after I was attacked. Golden eyes watching me, almost waiting for something. I’d sit outside in the cold for hours with a book or two, waiting until I could feel his gaze. Eventually, when I became too old for the swing, I tried approaching him. I kept low to the snow layered ground, keeping my hand palm-up and extended. I was trying to let him know I wasn’t dangerous. No matter how many times I tried to communicate with him, nothing ever worked. If I got too close he would disappear, leaving until the next time I went outside, whether it be weeks or hours apart from my last visit. The first person I told was Shoyo. He seemed alarmed by my carelessness. He could tear you to shreds, he had told me. But I keep remembering his sad gaze when he approached me the first time we met. He looked so…. worried. Shoyo was right. He is right. My wolf could rip me from my backyard at any given moment, eating me alive just as the others had tried to do, but he hasn’t. I just have a feeling that he’d never hurt me, and I want him to know that I’d never hurt him either. One year, I left him old ham and meat that my parents' didn’t eat. I tried this for a few weeks, but I soon gave up. He only took the meat once, the other slabs left for him were consumed by other animals. After that, I came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t get comfortable anytime soon. So, for the longest time, we just sat in each other's presence. I read or scribbled in a notebook, or just thought. He was only there for the winter, though. Summers were filled with the emptiness of no howls and no golden eyes. They’re just wolves, lurking in the trees. Nothing more or nothing less. Just wolves. 

Keiji  
44° F  
I had no idea that my wolves weren’t wolves until Tobio Kageyama was found dead. In my junior year of high school, he was found torn and bloody somewhere in the woods. The culprits? Wolves. The only reason Tobio was known is that he was the richest person in Mercy Falls. His mother is a doctor, his father is a businessman, and his brother is Iwaizumi Kageyama.  
Panic fell over the whole town. Both my parents were always busy and hardly spent time with me or at home, but when Tobio was killed, my mom seemed to miraculously remember when I was attacked by wolves many years ago. She was anxiety-ridden, and even more scatterbrained. You’d think that she’d start spending more time with me now and care for her only son more, but she just became even more of a mess.  
“It was so close to here, where poor Tobio was killed.” She whined, pointing a knife at the TV where the news was showing a map of the woods and the location of his body. A kill like this spreads quickly, especially in such a small town. “Only a few miles from our house… Keiji, that’s where he was killed.”  
“Or died.”  
My mom looked at me quizzically, while I shrugged. “We all knew Tobio very well. He could’ve gotten drunk and passed out on the side of the road and got dragged along by a wolf when he was unconscious.” I mumbled with a shrug, looking away from the TV to look at my mom. “It’s not the same thing,” I said. She rolled her eyes, “He was attacked, Keiji.” I furrowed my brows and looked outside and into the woods, looking for my wolf’s eyes. “You’re the one that said wolves are typically peaceful.” I shot back lamely. She propped her hand on her hip and gave me that mom look. I knew she only told me that so I wouldn’t freak out as a kid when dad warned me about the creatures lurking in the woods when we first moved here. Before either of us could continue, I stood up and held out my hand. “Let me finish dinner, you’re not doing it right and I don’t want to eat a bunch of rocks,” I grumbled and stepped up to the counter. If I told 10-year-old me that he would be cooking three meals a day for three people every day he would laugh, but mom and dad simply stopped caring after I got attacked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild language is starting to appear next chapter too so beware

Keiji  
51°F  
I stood by the counter looking out into the woods. I finished dinner and mom only came down from her studio to grab a plate before disappearing once again. Dad still wasn’t home. While putting the leftovers away I stopped to grab a handful of beef before continuing to put everything in the fridge. I walked over to the back door with the hunk of beef in hand and grabbed my coat. I shuffled my boots on before sliding the door open. I was immediately hit with bitter air, a harsh reminder that fall was starting. My face was already cold when I stepped out, slowly walking out into my yard, wondering if my wolf was here. I stopped a foot or two away from the edge of the woods and waited for awhile. Eventually, golden eyes swept into view, and I was close enough to see the outline of his face and body. I let out a puff of air, watching it fog up in front of me and I crouched down. I listened to him sniff, the beef in my hand catching his interest. I scooted forwards very slowly, keeping the beef outstretched but never leaving my hand. I stopped when I noticed that there was dried blood on his chin. Crusted in his fur. It must’ve been days old.  
After a few moments, he shuffled out of the trees bit by bit. Only a few steps. But enough to see him clearly. This is the closest I've ever been to him. I exhaled slowly, studying the dried blood on his chin. I told myself that it was probably his, a scrape on his chin, but the blood looked out of place. It wasn’t his. I swallowed shakily, “Did you kill him?” I whispered. To my surprise, he didn’t run at the sound of my voice, and at this point, he was looking at me, and not the hunk of beef. He was so still, I could barely see him breathe. “They called the attack ‘savage’. Everyone can’t stop flappin’ their gums about it. Tell me. Did you do it?” I said to him, almost as if he could actually understand me. I was shocked when he moved; he flattened his ears flat against his head and looked away. I felt my heart rip into a thousand pieces.  
I moved closer to him, trying not to scare him away. I did what I’ve been waiting years to do. I placed my hand in his fur, and when he didn’t react negatively I buried my other hand along with it. He puffed out a breath and rested my head on me. He reeked of the woods, but I still held him anyway. His fur wasn’t as soft as it looked but It was still the nicest thing I've felt in my entire life.  
Neither of us moved for a while, but I saw movement out in the woods. My eyes flickered up and saw a wolf that had hair so thick, he looked like a teddy bear. Although his eyes were sharp and green, full of hostility and anger. I’ve seen him a few times, coming up to my wolf while he was by my house nipping him back into the woods. I felt a low grumble against me and realized that my wolf was growling at the brown wolf. The wolf stepped closer, being quite bold while my wolf shifted in my arms to face him. He snapped his teeth at the brown wolf, but the intruder didn’t growl or snip or anything. He just watched us, eyes flickering between us. The wolf’s body language screamed ‘hatred’ and ‘livid’. Still growling, my wolf began to push against me, harder and harder until he was practically shoving me away. I got the message and went back to the door. I slipped inside and locked it, and the brown wolf darted out, snatching the beef I dropped. The wolf gave me one last glare before slinking silently back into the trees. My wolf started to follow the other, although he hesitated by the trees, looking back at me for a long moment before disappearing. 

Keiji  
42° F  
That night, I lay in my bed. Lost in thought about my wolf’s rough fur and the blood on his chin. I thought about the other wolf too. His hurtful eyes, and how he had no reaction to my wolf’s prominent state of distress. I sighed and closed my eyes, listening for any noise. Nothing. I kept listening though, and eventually, I began to hear a faint tapping by my window. I wrapped my blanket around me and flopped out of bed, padding over to my window. I peered out of the slightly fogged glass and to my surprise, nothing was out there. Suddenly a face appeared before mine and I flinched. It was the brown wolf from before. He was panting, his breath fogging up the glass even further. His eyes were wide and full of hostility once again. The wolf’s front paws were propped up on the sill and he started to growl. Before I could even think about a response my lips curled into a snarl of my own. The wolf was just as shocked as I was, but he soon narrowed his eyes and hopped down, sending me one last killer glare before slinking away back into the woods. 

 

Tetsurou  
38 ° F  
I couldn’t stop thinking about Keiji. His hands in my fur. His soft voice. His touch was still clinging to me. I was getting too close, but I couldn’t stay away from him. I just couldn’t

Keiji  
65° F  
I was cut off from the rest of the world after that day. Floating through life, school, and Shoyo and Kotaro. All I could think about was my wolf, and unfortunately, the brown wolf snarling at me from my window. Ever since I was attacked I read books upon books about wolves and I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was different about my wolf; about all my wolves. I was pulled out of my bubble when Shoyo tapped my shoulder. I looked up and an officer was let into our class, which was just cruel considering it was 7th period. When the officer was at the front of the room, she smiled brightly. A tag on her shirt read HITOKA YACHI.  
“Hi,” she said. She looked very young, and our teacher said that she was a graduate from our school but I highly doubted it. “Your teacher, Miss Kiyoko, invited me to come speak to you all.” she piped with too much enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes and glanced over at Shoyo. He was leaning into his hand and watching Hitoka with warm eyes. He repositioned his attention over to me and grinned, “She’s really cute,” he whispered with fluttering eyelashes, “do you think her mom calls her Chi?”  
I snorted at his sudden interest in girls and rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time. Officer Hitoka continued to talk, though. “I became an officer right after graduation, and I hold this position very close to me.” She said solemnly. Shoyo giggled like he was the love-stricken school girl and I mumbled ‘clearly’ with a grin. Both Miss Kiyoko and Officer Hitoka shot us a glare, and Shoyo sank into his seat with dusted cheeks while I was trying not to laugh. Before Hitoka could continue, some girl’s hand shot straight up. “Is it true that Tobio Kageyama's body was stolen from the morgue?” she said impatiently. A few students snorted while others whispered about her stupidity. Officer Hitoka went pale as she broke eye contact. “I… Uh… I’m not authorized to say anything about the investigation.” She stammered out. She immediately lost her tough-guy-look. “It’s an investigation?” someone called out and if it were even possible, Hitoka seemed to pale even more.  
“Why would someone steal a body?”  
“For a medical experiment!”  
“It has to be a cover-up. They’re trying to hide a suicide.”  
“To smuggle drugs, obviously.”  
“I heard Tobio’s dad has a stuffed polar bear. Maybe the Kageyama’s stuffed Tobio too.”  
Officer Hitoka looked at Miss Kiyoko with pleading eyes. Our teacher sighed, “Quiet down!” she spat, and we all fell silent. “So,” Kiyoko said, “was his body really stolen?” Hitoka opened her mouth to say something, but she quickly closed it when she saw the look Kiyoko was giving her. She wrung her hands in front of her and looked at her feet nervously. “Um... It’s true. We’re still looking into it. But please respect the mourning family and that the case is mostly confidential.” She said  
I looked over at Shoyo to see him mouthing ‘Oh. My. God’ at me. I nodded in agreement. The same girl who asked about the body raised her hand again. “Are the wolves dangerous? Should we be worried?” she asked. Hitoka shook her head, “No - the wolves are perfectly safe. This is a solo’ed out attack-”  
But the girl interrupted her, “The news said to stay out of the forest though because they’re going out and hunting them down.”  
and that was it


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry if this chapter is bad, no one looked over it

Keiji  
37°F  
I’m terrified. I can’t bear to think about the wolves being hunted. My wolf being hunted. I sat through the rest of class dazed, not paying attention to anything else Officer Hitoka talked about. I thought about the blood on my wolf’s chin, and how he seemed so humanly ashamed. My wolves were obviously guilty but they didn’t deserve to die. When the bell rang for dismissal I just blindly followed Shoyo out of class.  
Before we could make it to the front doors Kotaro popped up in front of us. He was smiling sheepishly, looking to the side. “Hey guys, I’ll have to skip our date today. Step-mom-freak wants to have some ‘bonding time.’ Is it okay If we hang out tomorrow? I’m really sorry...” He said bashfully. I totally forgot it was Wednesday, and that all three of us hang out at least once every week. Before I could say anything Shoyo was already brighter than a couple of hospital lights. “Sure! Don’t worry about it Ko, good luck with your mom.” And just like that Kotaro was out of sight. “Do you just want to come over to my place?” I asked, and he nodded in agreement. After walking for a few seconds Shoyo pinched my bicep, making me look over to the other side of the hall. Hajime, Tobio’s older brother, was at his locker rummaging through it like it held an answer he needed. Many people were wearing to black to mourn Tobio’s death, but Iwaizumi wasn’t. As if he could read my thoughts, his head snapped over to me and I immediately broke eye contact. As soon as we were out of earshot Shoyo leaned over and whispered, “He wasn’t wearing black…” I shrugged lightly, not really wanting to put much thought into it. “Maybe he’s done mourning for him,” I suggested  
When we got to my house, I made us coffee and nuked a few chicken nuggets. We sat at the kitchen table in silence, observing Shoyo’s newest stack of photos. His photography skills never ceased to amaze me, he made you feel like you were right there seeing the scene for yourself. I came across a photo of me, Shoyo, and Kotaro standing in front of my house. We all looked really bad but it was the warmth of our smiles that really mattered. Shoyo took a chicken nugget off the plate between us and pointed to another photo, “Did you see that one?” He asked, and I looked at the photo he was referring to. It was a picture of my wolf. He was deep in the woods, hiding in the trees but Shoyo still managed to get his gleaming eyes and the outline of his face. I felt a knot in my chest, something sad and gruesome. I felt so alone at this moment for some reason, so I ran my thumb over the picture, remembering how his fur felt. Shoyo watched me with warm eyes and a small smile, “You can keep that one, Keiji. Actually, you can have the whole stack.” I was entirely grateful, the lonely knot long was gone.  
Shoyo left soon after his sister called him, yelling about burning her pasta. I walked Shoyo to his car, and I made a bee-line to the back door. I whipped the door open and took a moment to smell the frosty air. If I hadn’t opened the door, I don’t think I would’ve heard someone screaming.

Keji  
28°F  
I thought it was a howl at first until it came again. It was a scream for help. I booked it out the door and straight into the forest. Burrs and twigs were poking into my socks but I didn’t really care, I just kept on following the voice. I stopped immediately when the voice stopped. I whipped my head around frantically trying to hear anything. After listening for a few seconds I heard quiet whimpers and shuffling, but they soon stopped. The trees around me were still and silent. I stood there listening. I couldn’t have imagined it. I could’ve sworn I heard yelling, yells that sounded just like they would belong to Tobio Kageyama. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, coming to the conclusion that no one was out here. My house was long behind me, so what would be wrong about going deeper into the woods? If it was true about the hunting then I might as well find my wolf to see if he’s okay. I decided to go back to the house to at least grab my boots and jacket. I weaved my way back through the trees with ease. I haven’t been this deep in the forest since I was attacked by the wolves, but I wasn’t afraid. I was oddly calm, and for some reason, I felt as if I knew these woods as well as my house, almost as a sixth sense. I knew it wasn’t really my sixth sense, that was ludicrous. But I still felt at ease. I stopped abruptly when I heard a sharp wail, followed by whimpers. I started to jog, and when I rounded a corner I saw three wolves. I’ve studied the whole pack, not just my wolf, and I identified the pack leader and the fluffy one pinning the third down. The wolf on the leafy ground was bleeding quite an amount and his fur was dark grey. They all whipped their heads to look at me, frozen as they seemingly attacked the grey wolf. I was panting, and my stomach twisted at the sight of the hostile fluffy one. The grey wolf was last to wrench his head over to me. We made eye contact and his eyes were dark blue. I’ve seen those eyes before. At school. On the news. In the newspaper. On the internet.  
“Tobio..?” I whispered, and the grey wolf whimpered pitifully. I kept looking into his eyes. Did wolves even have blue eyes? I didn’t care, his eyes looked wrong. Not correct, too humanoid. All I could think was ‘human human human.’ A low snarl snapped me out of my thoughts and the fluffy wolf let the grey wolf up, biting his side and shoving him away. The pack leader just stared at me, and before I even thought about whipping my pocket knife out the three wolves were gone and twisting through the trees. I kept playing the scene over and over again before I let out a harsh snort. What was I thinking? That Tobio turned into a wolf? I hadn’t seen the boy in a week or two, how would I even recognize the resemblance? But his eyes were so humanoid. He understood me. He was begging for help. He’s the one who screamed for help. I exhaled slowly, wondering if Tobio was the only secret in this forest. 

Keiji  
46°F  
The next day at school I decided to tell Shoyo about what happened in the woods.  
He slammed his locker and gave me the most startled look, “What?” He said, his voice cracking. I exhaled shakily, debating whether I should tell him or not. “Yesterday in the woods…. I think I saw Tobio as a..”  
“A wolf?” Shoyo interrupted, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “You’re crazy Keiji. I understand your obsession with the wolves, but isn’t this taking it a little too far? I can see why you’d want to believe it but….. you’re just crazy.” He remarked with a raised eyebrow.  
I leaned in close to Shoyo, not wanting anyone else to hear. “Listen, Sho. I know what I witnessed. I saw his eyes. He understood me. I think when he was attacked he wa- wait, why I'd want to believe it? What is that supposed to mean?” Shoyo sighed and waited for me to pile all my stuff in my bag so we could go home. “Ugh, Keiji. Never mind. But does this mean that all of them are ‘were-wolves?’”  
Before I could continue Shoyo spoke first. “Okay, Keiji, don't you think that your obsession with the wolves is getting really creepy? Like, our classmate died and you think he’s a fucking werewolf? Sorry, Keiji, but you know I had a crush on him and this is getting really goddamn sick.”  
I ran a hand over my face and groaned, “Sho you liked him freshman year. Not now. Please, I'm not obsessed. I’m just interested.” I uttered and Shoyo rolled his eyes. “Jeez, what the heck dude? I’m interested in them too but you constantly think about the wolves, constantly talk about them, and all you want me and Ko to talk about. That’s called an obsession, Keiji! You actually fantasize about being one. I used to also, but I was thirteen! We aren't kids anymore, but you haven't figured that out apparently. ” He said in one of those angry-whispers. I didn't say a single thing, I just started at my shoes angrily. Eventually, I puffed out a breath and looked up at him.  
“Sorry for boring you for so long, Shoyo. But you’re literally telling me that I'm creepily obsessed with something that means a lot to me? That’s just….. very altruistic of you.” I spat. Shoyo slightly kicked the locker beside him. “Oh fucking grow up.” He snarled and pushed his way around me, leaving me in the dust. After he left the loud hallways felt too quiet. My cheeks were hot and my eyebrows were furrowed. Instead of going home I trudged into my empty first-hour classroom, throwing myself into a desk and flopping my face into my hands. I can't remember the last time I and Shoyo fought. I don't think we’ve ever argued before. We always got along very well. I groaned and pushed my face deeper into my hands. I heard someone approaching and expensive cologne fill the room so I lifted my eyes to see Hajime Kageyama standing in front of the desk I was sitting in.  
“I heard that your class was talking about the wolves the other day,” he said calmly, but his face looked solemn and bitter. “I also heard that you think that the wolves are harmless. Well, surprise, those beasts killed my brother.” I opened my mouth to apologize but Hajime was quick to cut me off. “Shut up. I know what you’re going to say, but those wolves are seriously dangerous and my dad is going to do something about it.” Hajime said in a rush, he was so upset I almost felt bad for defying his reasons. But I remembered one comment from class, how the Kageyama’s stuff their trophies. I imagined my wolf stuffed and glossy eyed and suddenly the room felt too small.  
“Listen Hajime, I’m sorry that the wolves killed your brother, but It could’ve just been one of them. The odds that the whole pack-” Hajime slammed his hand on the desk and gave me an extremely harsh glare. “No you listen, Keiji. My brother is dead because of those wolves. You better get that hippie-wolf-love shit out of here and soon because today is going to be the last.” He spat and turned on his heels. Panicked, I grabbed his wrist to get his attention. “Hajime… what do you mean by last..?” I whimpered, my throat clogging up. He snorted and ripped his wrist from my grip. “You know what I mean,” he said quietly. “They’re killing the wolves. Today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Don't forget to support the original author


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE. This week has been super hectic for me, so this chapter did not get proof readed. Sorry if it's lousy..!

Keiji  
50°F  
For a while, I just sat there. I sat in that desk with hot cheeks and clenched fists. I kept thinking about what Hajime said, yet he was long gone. His words kept repeating themselves over and over again, and then it finally hit me at full force. I stood up and shoved the desk sideways in my attempt to run as fast as possible. The halls were empty at this point, and I pushed through door after door until I made it to the parking lot. I was wheezing by the time I got behind the wheel of my car and I hastily shoved the key into the ignition. For my whole life, I always thought that the wolves were a powerful force. So fierce and capable of doing the impossible, but at this time they seemed like the most fragile creatures like one breath would utterly destroy them. One step and my wolf would be gone forever.  
I had two ways to get home at this point. One would be very brief but filled with traffic and stoplights. The other one was a little longer but it only had two stop-signs, and it ran right next to the woods. The latter it is. I pulled quickly out of the school and drove as fast as I could. My stomach was in knots as my fingers tapped the steering wheel. Was the hunt going on? How many were already shot? I felt like crying as I drove along, the sun setting on the horizon and staining the sky pink and orange. As I uneasily sped down the road I saw two pickup trucks pulled on the side of the street, their lights shining harshly into the trees. I eased on the breaks and allowed my car to gasp to a stop behind the trucks, the sound it made not sounding very good. My hands were shaking so much it took me a few tries to get my key out of my car.  
I slipped out of my car and immediately recognized Officer Hitoka. She was wearing a bright orange cap and jacket, a shotgun propped up beside her.  
“Having car difficulties?” She asked as I approached, and she seemed uneasy herself. Before I could reply a door slammed behind me, and I looked over my shoulder to see more orange-capped men walking towards the woods with all sorts of guns. I glanced in the direction of where they were going to see more orange blobs dotted between the trees. My breath caught in my throat. They had already started the hunt.  
I snapped my attention back to Hitoka and then to the gun by her hip. “Is that for the wolves?” I asked calmly, which surprised me. Hitoka opened her mouth to say something but a snap blew out. A gunshot. “You guys are hunting the wolves, aren’t you?’ I snapped and she paled the same way she did back in the class. There was another shot and I gasped. “Your phone, miss Hitoka, you have to tell them to stop. My friend is in there. He was going to take photos after school.”  
Alarmed, officer Hitoka practically flinched. “There’s someone in there? Are you sure?”  
“Yes!” I wailed because I knew I was right. Hitoka scrambled for her phone in an attempt to notify the other hunters. Her phone shut off due to low battery and I about lost it. I was pulling at my hair when another gunshot rang out. I couldn’t stand it. Before I could even think to react jumped the ditch separating the trees from the road and scrambled into the woods. I heard her calling after me but I had to do something. I have to make sure my wolf is safe. But everything inside me was telling me that I was too late.

Tetsurou  
50°F  
We ran. We ran silently and as fast as we could. We slipped through branches and bushes yet the sounds of the hunters didn’t fade. The forest that once protected me was invaded, and it seemed bare with their scents suffocating me. At this point, the ground beneath my feet didn’t feel familiar. I had no idea where we were going and I was terrified. The trees around me stank of death, and a sudden snap made my senses ring. I knew it was Lev who whimpered without even turning my head. I still went on. Not long after Lev was shot the smell of damp earth slapped me and it dawned on me that the hunters were driving us to the lake. A whole pack, surrounded, with no place to go. The others were going straight towards the lake, but I stopped.

Keiji  
50°F  
Once I was completely surrounded by trees, I felt attacked. I was just here yesterday but the trees were darker and the sixth sense I claimed to have was long gone. I had to keep stopping to hear where the hunters were because the familiar paths were destroyed by them. I soon saw the outline of one of the hunters. I yelled out but he didn’t even react, he just continued to make a lot of ruckus. When I got closer, I yelled as loud as I could at the man. He abruptly turned to me with wide eyes. “What are you doing here?” He asked, “It’s dangerous to be in the woods right now.”  
“You - have - to - stop,” I panted out, putting my hands on my knees. “I have a friend in these woods. He was going to take photos today.” He squinted doubtfully  
“Right now?” he questioned, turning his attention to the darkening trees behind him.  
“Yes, right now!” I said and glanced at his waist. There, clipped to his pocket, was a walkie-talkie. “You have to call them. You have to tell them to stop.It’s getting dark, how would they see him?” He looked at me for a long moment before reaching to his waist. He almost seemed to move in slow motion and anxiety coursed through my veins. When he began to talk into the speaker a series of pops and crackles. My ears stung as the gunshots rang out, and I had to keep myself from crying. All I could think about was the wolves falling down one by one. My wolf collapsing. Now all I could think about was his eyes.  
I heard someone approaching and it turned out to be Officer Hitoka. “Hey, what were you thinking? There’s people with guns out here.” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. I wrenched from her grip immediately and looked at my shoes. She sighed and asked for my name.  
“Keiji Akaashi.” I said flatly and she let out a little aah sound.  
“I’ve met your dad before, Mr. Akaashi. Your house is right by the woods. I can walk you back if you want?”  
“I don’t need an escort,” I grumbled, but Hitoka walked me home anyways, leaving the other hunter behind. When my house came into view from the trees I stopped and looked at Officer Hitoka. “I can make it back from here,” I said and she nodded warily, eyeing my lifeless house. She began to break through the bushes and back where we came from. I stumbled into my backyard and stopped to listen. I didn’t hear any animals scuffling around and it broke my heart in two. But after listening for awhile I heard soft uneven breaths. I held mine and came to the conclusion that I wasn’t hearing my shaky attempt to breathe. I followed the sound as quietly as I could. It led me up to the deck, and at this point, it was completely dark outside. When I found the source, the motion detector lights flicked on and there was my wolf. He was sprawled out by my door. My breath caught in my throat in a harsh manner, and I knew even before he opened his eyes I knew it was him. His pure gold eyes flicked open to look at me, and I hesitantly moved forward. Blood was smeared by his ear all the way to his very human shoulder.  
After my fight with Shoyo, I called my idea of werewolves to be stupid, even though I saw Tobio, yet here was a bloody boy, at my door. If someone asked me how I knew that he was my wolf, I couldn’t explain it. I just knew. A breeze of cold air made him shiver, and it also gave me a big whiff of metallic, Blood, I was wasting precious time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's today's chapter!

Keiji  
47°F  
I fumbled for my keys, pulling them out from out of my jacket’s pocket. When the key turned to unlock the door, the boy was the one to reach up and wham the door open, leaving blood on the window. “I’m sorry!” I cried and hustled inside. I turned on some lights while grabbing a handful of dishcloths and I stumbled back over to the door to still see the boy laying there. Half of his body was inside the house while the other was still outside, and he was shivering violently. Without thinking I grabbed him under his armpits and dragged him inside. I slammed the door shut with my foot and hauled him into the kitchen. He left a trail of blood on the floor, so I stopped to put the pressure of the dishcloths on the wound.  
“What happened?” I whispered. I knew what was wrong, yet I wanted to hear him talk. I wanted him to say something.  
“Shot.” He croaked, his knuckles white from gripping the towels along with me and I exhaled shakily.  
“Let me see.” I murmured and his golden eyes shimmered with fear. I had to pry his hands from the wad of towels, but when I removed them there was too much blood to see anything. I hurriedly put the towels back on his neck. “Hold these,” I said, looking around.  
“I don’t want to go back.” I heard him stutter, and that was enough to bring my attention back to him. His body jerked unnaturally and tears welled in his eyes, “Please don’t let me change…” My head reeled with grief as I reached for one of the towels I hadn’t used yet. Fortunately, it was bigger, so It covered some of the goosebumps on his skin. I would’ve been embarrassed by his nakedness on a regular day, but with him curled up covered in dirt and bleeding threw those thoughts out the window.  
“What’s your name?” I asked softly, scared that I would break him, and laid another rag over him. He groaned and gripped the towels, shivering again.  
“T-Tetsurou.”  
“Tetsurou, my name is Keiji. My dad left his car here, so I’m going to take you to the hospital.” I said, and he immediately flinched.  
“Keiji…. Keiji, I-”  
I waited for only a second to see what he was going to say, but when he didn’t finish I hopped up and grabbed my dad’s keys off the kitchen counter. I crouched down next to him again and placed my hand on his shoulder. I still couldn’t believe that he was real, and not a figment of my imagination. After years and years looking out my window here he was, and I wasn’t going to lose him.

Tetsurou  
45°F  
I wasn’t a wolf, but I wasn’t Tetsurou either. Coherent thoughts were bulging, the frozen woods behind me. I was with the boy. The boy on the tire swing. Keiji.  
“Tetsurou,” He called. “Tetsurou.” He was trying to get my attention, and I wanted to reply so badly, but I was too broken

Keiji  
45°F  
It’s extremely rude to stare at someone. But if they’re sedated then they have no idea, I think it's okay. And quite frankly, I couldn’t stop staring at Tetsurou. If he went to school with me then he would probably be considered one of the emo kids. His hair was pitch black and stuck up all over the place, but it managed to swoop down and over one of his eyes. He looked nothing like a wolf, yet just like my wolf. Even now I keep getting excited all over again; it really is him. Green curtains shuffled and a nurse looked in and at me. “Oh, sweetie, you’re still here?”  
“Uh,” I said, nodding slowly. “Yes, I’ll be here until he wakes up.” and at that, she smiled sadly  
“He’s been heavily sedated, so he’ll be out for awhile hon.”  
“Then that’s how long I’m staying.” I said, giving her a tight smile. I’ve already been here long enough for them to take out the bullet and stitch up the wound, and it was probably past midnight. It surprised me that neither my mom or dad have called me yet. Or neither of them have noticed the bloody towels in the sink, or my dad’s car missing. Maybe no one was even home yet. Midnight is pretty early for them after all.  
“You know, he’s awfully lucky for the bullet just to graze him... Do you know why he did it?”  
Nerves pricked my arms and I furrowed my brows. “I don’t follow. Why he was in the woods?”  
“Oh hon, we both know that he wasn’t in the woods.” She said, and at this point, I was beyond lost. I waited for her to clarify, but when she didn’t I sighed.  
“Uh. Yes. He was. He was in the woods and was accidentally shot by a hunter.” It wasn’t a complete lie. He was in the woods but the whole accident part was false.  
The nurse chuckled. “Listen Keiji, wasn’t that your name? Keiji, you and Tetsurou are friends right?” I nodded and she took that as the ok to continue. “I know you’re really close to him but… he really needs some help.” It finally dawned on me that she thought that he had tried to shoot himself.  
“You think he shot himself… look, he didn’t. You’re wrong.” I said, and the nursed scoffed rudely  
“Do you think we’re stupid?” She asked seriously, and on the other end of the bed, she lifted Tetsurou’s arm into the air. With his palm facing the air, the scars on his wrist were easy to spot. Yet the marks didn’t have an effect on me though, so I just shrugged.  
“That was before I met him. If anything has been going on he’d tell me. I swear it was some crazy hunter.”  
“Sure, Hon. Well, call me if you need anything.” And just like that she was gone, giving me a sick look. With hot cheeks, I looked down where my hand was resting on the bed. Out of the few things that ticked me off, adults that thought they knew everything was my biggest pet peeve. A few moments after the nurse had left and Tetsurou’s eyes flickered open and I just about jumped out of my skin. His golden eyes were fixed on me and it took me a second to calm down.  
“You should be asleep..” I murmured, leaning towards him.  
“Who are you?” He said, his voice smooth and mournful, just like his howl. “Your voice sounds familiar..” My throat tightened up at the thought of him not remembering his time as a wolf. I don’t know how this whole thing works. Tetsurou reached his hand out and I immediately put my hand with his, and he sheepishly brought my hand to his nose and sniffed a few times. At first, his smile was small and hardly noticeable, but it eventually grew larger although still shy. God, it was fucking adorable. “Sorry,” He said a little louder. “You don’t look familiar and it takes awhile for my brain to kick in and come back.”  
“Come back from what?”  
“Come back from when.” He corrected “Come back from when I was…” Tetsurou waited. He wanted me to say it. The words were on the tip of my tongue yet it was so hard to say. It was so difficult to admit it; to say it aloud.  
“When you were a wolf.” I whispered. “Why are you here?”  
“Because I was shot,” He said matter-of-factly, and I snorted.  
“I mean like,” I paused to gesture to his too human body draped with a silly hospital gown. He let out a little aah sound and put his hand on his chin.  
“Well.. because it’s spring. Also because it’s warm, and when it’s warm it makes me Tetsurou.”  
We were still holding hands from before, but now I pulled my hand away and rested it in my lap. I let out a deep sigh and looked at the ceiling. “I, uh, It’s not spring. It’s September.”  
Tetsurou was quiet before he let out a long sigh himself. “Well,” He said sarcastically, “this isn’t good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey finished this entire series today and UGH IM SO IN LOVE. The wolves of mercy falls is so good please read it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah holy shit I'm so sorry? My life got super hectic and school became utter chaos, and I haven't thought of this fic very much. However, I went through old chapters to improve their grammar, and woohoo here's a new chapter!!

Keiji  
47°F  
“Will you do me a favor?” Tetsurou asked, his lips curling into a small smile as if to reassure me. I closed my eyes, thinking that this couldn’t be real. That my wolf was just a wolf, and this boy was a stranger. My wolf was dead in the woods, being hauled into a garbage can. But when I opened my eyes he was still there. Tetsurou was still looking at me with my wolf’s eyes, hope glittering in his facial features. I sighed helplessly, fiddling my hands together. “What’s the favor?” He scratched his cheek, glancing around. “I need some clothing, and I need to get out of here before they realize I’m not human.”   
Before I could retort, Tetsurou had reached to the bullet wound on his neck and ripped off the bandages there. I reached to stop him but it was too late. On his neck were stitches and a pink scar. It looked as if the wound had been there for 4 years, not 4 hours. My mouth gaped open while I looked for something to say. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Tetsurou looked at me a laughed softly. “See? They’d definitely suspect something..”   
I nodded slowly and spoke. “Okay. You need to leave so they don’t notice your perfectly fine neck, but if you just run off won’t they just track you down?”  
Tetsurou made a face of confusion. “No they won't, they’ll just think I'm a delinquent with no insurance.”   
“No, they’ll think you ran off to avoid counseling. They think that you shot yourself..”  
Tetsurou still had that confused face and his eyebrows furrowed further, so I pointed to his wrists.  
“Oh,” he murmured “I, uh, didn’t do that”  
I frowned, and Tetsurou fumbled for words while absentmindedly rubbing his hands over one row of scars.  
“My mom and dad did each arm. They would count backwards so they’d do it at the same time. I can’t stand to look at a bathtub,”  
I sat there for a second processing what he said, and I don’t know if it was the way he said it so blankly or the thought of the action in itself but I suddenly felt dizzy, and my head hit the hospital floor with a thunk.  
I don’t know how long I was out, but a male nurse knelt beside me with a concerned expression.   
“Are you alright?” he asked while helping me up, and I nodded. “Yeah.. I was just thinking about all the blood when I found him… oooooohh boy.” I murmured as the world spun. The nurse told me not to think about it as he gently rubbed my back. I held my head and blushed furiously. “Hey uh, I have an embarrassing question.. Do you think I can borrow a pair of scrubs? I think my pants….”  
The nurse flushed bright red and nodded furiously. “Yes yes, of course, I’ll be right back.” And true to his words he was back a few minutes later with a folded pair of pale blue scrubs.   
“Thank you.. Do you mind stepping out? I don’t think he’s going to wake up anytime soon….” I said and gestured to Tetsurou. The nurse left and I immediately threw the scrubs at Tetsurou’s face, who was laying down and looking very sedated.   
Tetsurou sat up with a teasing grin. “ Did you tell that man you pissed yourself?” he whispered, biting back a laugh.   
“Shut it, and hurry before they notice that I didn’t wet myself,” I said with an angry whisper, as he chuckled softly and slid on the scrubs under the covers. “Time to bounce.” He hummed, taking off the blood pressure cuff. He exited through the curtained area as the monitor by his bed flatlined, and nurses began to shuffle around talking incoherently. Tetsurou looked around and grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hall. To my surprise, none of the staff batted an eye at us as we wove our way through the halls, into the lobby, and to the exit. Adrenaline was coursing through me, and I felt as if I could fight Iwaizumi right at this very moment. I was thinking about getting my car towed from the forest, Also, my wolf turned out to be a cute boy, who was also holding my hand? I could die happy.   
I was snapped out of my daze when Tetsurou stopped a few feet from the exit doors, his bare feet shuffling. “How cold is it out there?” He said hoarsely, licking his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaa I promise Kuroo's POV will come in next chapter :^O

Keiji  
38°F  
Tetsurou licked his lips, glancing nervously at the front desk. “If it’s too cold I'll change.” He said, and my heart squeezed at the pain in his voice.  
“Does it hurt to change?” I asked softly, and he looked away from me.  
“I want to be human right now,”  
I wanted him to be human too. “I’ll go start the car while you wait here and pull up so you’ll only be in the cold for a second,” I said reassuringly, and he returned his gaze to mine. “I don’t know where to go, though.”   
“Where do you normally live?” I asked, almost thinking he’d say something sad like the homeless shelter, and I knew for sure he didn’t live with his parents after seeing his wrists.  
“Daichi’s place, he’s the leader. He typically changes first so we all stay at his house in the woods, but if he hasn’t changed yet then the heating system might not be on. Then I would, ”   
Before he could go on further I interrupted him, shaking my head. “No. I’m going to go start the car and you’re coming home with me.”  
Tetsurou’s eyes widened. “But your parents-”  
“They won't know, I promise,” I said, letting go of his hand. I pushed open the doors and gave him a smile before walking into the parking lot.

Keiji  
32°F  
“Are you asleep?” Tetsurou’s voice was soft, yet in the silence of the night, it sounded like a shout. I rolled over in my bed to look at the boy. He was on a makeshift bed made of pillows and blankets and I could see his eyes in the reflection of the moon. “No,” I whispered back.  
“Can I ask you a question?”  
“You just did.”  
“Then can I ask two questions?”  
“You already have.”  
Tetsurou groaned and half-heartedly threw a pillow at me while I laughed quietly.   
“Ok, ok. What do you want to know?” I said, grinning in the dark room.  
“You were bitten.” He said, sounding more like a statement than a question. I did hear the pure curiousness in his voice, though. I shrugged.  
“I don’t know,” I said honestly.   
“How can you not know?” He said, his voice rising above a whisper.   
“I was young.”   
“I was young too, but I know exactly what happened.” When I didn’t answer, he asked: “Is that why you just lay there, because you didn’t know they were going to eat you?”  
I stared through the snow-framed window by my bed, lost in the memory of the incident. Tetsurou as a wolf. His pack around me, tugging at my arm while one wolf stood behind, black and ambitious, brave enough to stop the others.   
Outside, the howls started. First one, then two, and then the whole pack joined it. It was beautiful. On the floor, Tetsurou whimpered. He actually whimpered, a noise that belonged neither to a human or a wolf. Tetsurou hobbled up and walked to the window. He placed his hand on the cold glass and looked out into the woods sadly.   
“Do you miss them?” I asked softly, afraid if I talked too loud he would break. His silhouette shrugged. “I’m not sure. Yes? No? It makes me feel sick… as if I don’t belong here.” Silence fell, and we sat there listening to the wolves. When they stopped, I wiped tears from my face and broke the silence. “Come over here and talk to me,” I said with a small smile. “It’s cold on the floor and you’ll get a crick.”  
He turned around and looked at me. “What about your parents?” he asked hoarsely.   
“They’re at a gallery opening. My mom’s an artist.”  
“It’s 3-fucking-am.”  
“Just get in.” I deadpanned, lifting up my blankets for emphasis. “I trust you to behave, so you should trust me when I tell you they won't notice.” And sure enough, without another word, Tetsurou padded over and slipped into my bed. However, he made sure he was as far away from me as possible, practically hanging off the edge of the bed.   
Silence fell once again for a while before he turned and looked at me.   
“They bit you. You should’ve changed too.”   
In my head, I remembered Tetsurou as a wolf, dragging me away from the pack. He carried me through the woods on feet that left human footprints in the snow. I looked over and made eye contact with him.  
“Sometimes, I wish I had.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owo what's this?

Tetsurou  
41°F  
I woke up with a jerk. For a moment I was scared. I lay there staring at an unfamiliar ceiling, trying to remember what woke me so urgently. Then, events from last night came rushing in. I soon realized it wasn’t a sound that woke me but a sensation. Keiji had rolled over in his sleep and his arm was draped over my chest. I couldn’t stop staring at his arm on me. I rolled over so his hand flopped onto my waist and looked at him.   
I watched how his evened breath huffed a hair back in forth in front of his face, and how his lips were slightly parted. And then his father got up. I immediately stiffened up, my heart in my throat. I heard his feet shuffle on the floor above us, as I was ready to leap from the bed at any second if he decided to come to wake Keiji. But he left in a flurry, the smell of aftershave and coffee floating into the bedroom. His mom left shortly after, dropping all sorts of things and yelping often.   
I was utterly shocked when the door closed behind his mother. His parents   
didn’t even peek in to see if Keiji was even alive after not seeing him come home in the dead of night. On the other hand, I felt ridiculous in the hospital scrubs. The thin paper did nothing to keep me warm, so I slipped out of bed without disturbing Keiji. I went out to the back door and looked at the frosty grass and trees that lay behind the deck. My breath caught in my throat as I hesitated and walked out. Even though I borrowed Keiji’s dad’s boots, the cold air still chewed at my exposed skin. Nausea and pain of changing rumbled softly in my joints.  
“I am Tetsurou,” I told myself as if saying it would prevent my body from changing. I retreated back inside to grab a coat. Damn this weather. After grabbing the biggest jacket I could find, I wobbled back into the backyard. Keiji’s dad had the feet of a yeti so I unflatteringly hobbled into the woods.  
Despite the ache in my joints and my breath coming back into my face, the woods were beautiful this time of year. The leaves were dead or frosted over, details I don’t comprehend as a wolf. Everything seemed to be frozen in time, and I thought it was absolutely stunning.   
But as I made my way to my stash of clothing I missed everything I would have noticed as a wolf. As a human, I couldn’t hear the drone of cars in the distance or the scent of other animals. As a wolf, I would’ve smelled Suguru long before I saw him, but since I was a human I only noticed him when I saw him. He stood there, thick hazel fur and agonizing green eyes. I noticed he survived the hunt without a scratch. What a shame. Suguru looked utterly confused. He looked at me with a cocked head and flattened ears.   
“Shh, Suguru, it’s me,” I said and exposed the palm of my hand to let him smell whatever remained of my scent.  
His muzzle snarled up and he backed up with disgust. I took a guess that he smelled Keiji’s scent layered with the remnants of mine. I knew I smelled of Keiji, at least. I could smell his strawberry shampoo clinging to my hair when I used his pillows, and when his arm was draped across me…  
Wariness glazed over Suguru’s eyes. This is how the two of us always were: at odds and ends. Suguru always enjoyed being a wolf, loving the pain of the change and delving into nothingness when winter arrives. Though the rest of the pack dreads it, vomiting at the persistent pain and not being able to remember who or what they are.   
He stared into my eyes in a very humanoid way, considering the fact that my rank in the pack was too high for her to challenge me like he currently was. I could swear I heard Suguru say “Don’t you miss it?”  
I closed my eyes, trying not to think of Suguru or becoming a wolf. I thought of Keiji back at the house, sleeping soundly. Nothing could compare to the feeling of his hand in mine. By the time I opened my eyes I briefly saw Suguru weave his way through the trees leaving me behind. I didn’t hear him leave or arrive, and I was reminded of my vulnerability. I shivered and continued to make my way to the shed where my clothes were stashed.  
When I reached the shitty hunk of wood I wheezed the door open. Inside was a heater and a series of tubs with names written on them. Inside the tub labeled “Tetsurou” I had a series of things to get me back to humanity as fast as possible. I quickly gripped the lid off and layered on long sleeve shirts and wool socks. I grabbed my wallet and traded Keiji’s dad’s boots with my own. When I stepped out of the shed I saw movement just beyond the trees.  
“Daichi,” I said, but the brown wolf was already retreating. I felt tears well up in my eyes. My heart was in my throat. I’m so scared, scared because I’m lost, packless, and exposed. I should be a wolf right now, I should be running with Daichi and Asahi and them, but instead, my joints hurt and I’m all alone. Last year, Daichi hadn’t shifted back into a human until late August. He probably won’t even change this year.  
I know my shifts are cutting short too. Last year I changed in June, which terrified me since I typically change early spring. I wiped tears as I thought about how late my shift would be this year if I wasn’t shot. I didn’t understand how being shot changed me. I thought about how hollow I felt when Keiji knelt over me, pressing a towel onto my neck.   
The dead leaves around the shed mocked me with wide smiles. A year had come and gone without me. I stared at the leaves, knowing all to0 well that this was definitely my last year as a human.   
To be able to meet Keiji at this last breath seemed far too cruel. Tears started to prick at my eyes again, so I decided to stop thinking about it. Instead, I jogged back to Keiji’s house, letting myself in after checking that Keiji’s parents’ cars were definitely gone. I walked up to his bedroom door and hesitated. I was scared. I wanted to see him, yet I didn’t. So I walked to the kitchen and looked through his pantry even though I wasn’t hungry. I wanted to see Keiji, but face-to-face confrontation might make things worse. Just last night I was bleeding to death on his porch. Now he might just view me as a freak. You’re an abomination. You’re cursed. The devil! Where is my son? What have you done to him?  
“Tetsurou?”  
I jerked, almost dropping a bag of pretzels. Keiji called again from his room, wondering where I was. He didn’t sound scared, though. I opened his bedroom door and looked around. Now in the light, I noticed how mature his room is. Pictures of trees on the wall framed squarely with square furniture and a square bed. Books took up most of the space while a stack of towels and laundry stood on his dresser. It dawned on me that If the two of us were objects. Keiji would be a digital clock synced up with London, filled with technical perfection, and I would be a snowglobe. Delicate and easily shaken, while he stood firm and sophisticated.   
I opened my mouth struggling to say something not too weird or bland. “Good morning,” Is what I managed.  
Keji, sitting up in his bed smiled, his hair sticking out in weird places.  
“You’re still here! And you have clothes. Instead of scrubs.”  
“Yeah, I went to go get them while you were sleeping.”  
“What time is it?”  
I looked over to a square, black and white clock on the wall: “11,”  
“Shit, I’m really late to school, aren’t I?”  
He crawled out of bed, his shirt hanging off his shoulder and exposing his collarbone. I looked away.  
“You know what? I haven’t missed a day of high school yet. One day won't hurt.” Keiji said, looking at me. “You don’t have to be so flustered. I’m not naked.” He said walking over to his dresser. “You haven’t seen me naked, have you?”  
“No!” I said hurriedly, a blush rising to my cheeks. Keiji smiled at my lie and grabbed a pair of jeans from his dresser. “Well, unless you want to see now, I suggest you turn around.”   
I jumped onto his bed face down, shoving my face into his pillows that smelled of strawberry shampoo. I listened to him shuffle around as he changed.   
“I didn’t mean to,” I said.  
When he was done, Keiji flopped down onto the bed  
“Are you always this apologetic?”   
My voice was muffled by her bedding. “I’m trying to make you think I’m a decent person. Telling you that I saw you naked while I was an entirely different species does not help.”  
He laughed, crisp and warm. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I did leave the blinds open.”  
I could smell Keiji’s nervousness and the beating of his heart alongside mine. At that moment, I could’ve never doubted my happiness.


	9. Chapter 9

Tetsurou

41°F

I cracked an egg open onto a skillet while Keiji sat at the breakfast bar watching me with careful eyes, his hand resting on his palm. “What are you thinking about?” I asked with a small smile, breaking the silence.

“About whether you know how to cook an egg or not,” He replied, getting up to stand beside me and watch the eggs cook. Keiji’s eyes traveled up from the skillet to my lips, and then to my eyes. I knew eggs weren’t the only thing on his mind. In the blink of an eye, he spun on his heels and walked over to the window above the sink. “And that it’s too bright in here, my goodness.” and pulled the blinds closed, leaving little light to filter through. 

I was scraping the eggs onto two plates when the toast popped out of the toaster, a bright ding echoing in the quiet house. 

Keiji and I both reached for it at the same time. It was one of those moments in books where the boy and girl brush hands, look at each other, and kiss. But instead of just brushing hands my arm had somehow caged him to the counter. Lost in pure oblivion and making breakfast I had no clue it was one of these moments until I saw Keiji close his eyes and tilt his face towards mine. 

I kissed him. Just a soft brushing of lips, nothing too crazy. My pulse was raging in my ears while I deconstructed the situation. He would probably push me away, kick me out, call me a fag. But when I pulled away and opened my eyes Keiji just smiled at me.

“Is that all you got?” He said tauntingly, so I leaned forward and kissed him again. This time the kiss was different. It was 6 years of dreaming pressed into one moment. He smelled of strawberries and tasted like oranges. His hands grazed my cheeks and locked behind my neck, alive and soft on my skin. For once in my life I was here, I was Tetsurou, and I didn’t want to be anywhere else. 

 

Tetsurou

50°F

Keiji and I sat in his old worn out Bronco’s bench seat in an old parking lot on the outskirts of town. His car radio hummed quietly as  Keiji tapped his thumb against the steering wheel rhythmically. “Let’s play 20 questions,” he suddenly said, his eyes bright like he came up with the idea of the century. I thought it was a cute look on his face. I had my head tilted back and my eyes closed so I could bake in the afternoon sun. “Shouldn’t you be looking at cars? Car shopping typically involves, ya know, shopping for a car?” I said with a snarky smile, cracking my eyes open to look up at him. This made him giggle. Fucking  _ giggle.  _ “I’m not good at shopping, I just kinda glance around and find  something I need.” He said, and this made me laugh right back. He was so exuberant, it made my heart race. 

“So, questions, it isn't an option,” He said with a toothy grin. I sighed and closed my eyes once again. “As long as it isn’t anything embarrassing.” Keiji slid over on the bench seat even closer to me, slouching down so he could mimic my posture. Our shoulders and legs were touching and I felt as if this was the first question. 

“I want to know what makes you a wolf.” He said blankly. That one was easy. “When the temperature drops, I become a wolf. When it starts to get cooler I can feel it bubbling up until I finally change, and then I don’t change back until the temperature rises in spring.” 

“The rest of the pack too?” 

I nodded. “The longer you are a wolf, the warmer it has to be for you to change back into a human,” I said and paused, thinking if I should tell him. “No one knows how long each person gets to be a wolf. It’s different for everyone.” I opened my eyes and looked over at Keiji. He had that same blank stare on his face that he had six years ago, laying in the snow looking at the sky. My throat tightened, awaiting his reply. 

“What do you eat?”

“Bunnies,” I said, and he didn’t skip a beat.

“Is that what was on your face when I touched you?” He said as we made eye contact. The sun filtered in through his dusty car windows and cast geometric shadows on his face. He was truly beautiful. Yet his eyes were weird, looking at me as if he didn’t really want to hear the answer. I had to struggle to remember that night, and what happened. I remember his hands in his fur, his small hands touching such a beast so gently. I couldn’t think of anything abnormal. “Did I have blood on my face?” I finally asked. Keiji nodded.

“It wasn’t that boy’s-”

“Tobio.”

“Tobio,” I repeated. “I knew that someone from the pack attacked him, but I wasn’t there when it happened.” I dug deeper, trying to remember as my eyes screwed shut. My human brain suggested things; Rabbits, deer, roadkill, Tobio. But none of them made any connections. Until I finally got it and I looked proudly at Keiji for my skill of actually _ remembering.  _ “A cat. I had caught a cat and ate it.” Keiji let out a breath that I didn’t notice he was holding. The car was silent for awhile until another memory struck me.

“He hurt them, you know. Tobio did.” 

“He did what? But you weren’t there?”

I shook my head and gestured vaguely with my hands. “It’s not - the wolves - when we communicate, it’s with images. Nothing super complex, like a quick snippet of where they are or what they see. But images can’t be sent over  a large distance, either. It sounds really dumb, I know, but the wolves who attacked Tobio sent me images.”

“You can read minds.” Keiji deadpanned, looking unamused, and I shook my head rapidly. “No, it’s really hard to explain. As humans, we just speak, human to human, but us wolves have brains that are built differently. We can’t comprehend or apply complex communication with complicated emotions and techniques, so we just send and receive little things like a specific tree that has certain marks with a notation of ‘WARNING, DANGER’ or ‘FOOD’”

“What did the wolves send you of Tobio?” 

I looked at my dirty shoes with a tight feeling in my chest. It felt so weird recalling simple, blurry images and notations of a wolf as a human. I flipped through things I could remember that day. I saw bullet wounds through pelts and Tobio’s blood smeared on muzzles and the leaves below him. “Bullet wounds. Tobio must’ve had a BB gun or something with him.”

“But why would he do that?” Keiji said frustratedly, and I shrugged.

“I’m not sure. We don’t tell each other those kinds of things when we’re wolves.” I helplessly replied, leaving us in a sharp silence. He was probably thinking about Tobio. Then he spoke. “So you never get to open Christmas presents.” I glanced over at him, not sure how to respond. Keiji was fiddling with his thumbs as he talked. 

“I was just thinking about how I loved Christmas. Because you were always there. But it’s cold during Christmas, and I don’t think you celebrate it as a wolf..”

I shook my head. These past few years, I’ve changed so early I don’t even get to see Christmas decorations in stores. Christmas is a thing of the past. Before I was a wolf. Keiji frowned at the steering wheel. “Do you think of me when you’re a wolf?” 

When I was a wolf, I was nothing but a polaroid of a boy, trying to hold onto who he used to be. I didn’t want to tell Keiji that I couldn’t even remember his name as a wolf. 

“I think of the way you smell.” I finally said, not wanting to think of the empty days as a wolf. I lifted my hand and tucked a stray piece of his hair behind his ear, making Keiji blush. Another silence fell between us. When was I going to change back? I didn’t want to answer, and he didn’t want to ask. The thought of leaving my humanity behind once and for all, leaving Keiji forever, made my stomach twist. 

**Author's Note:**

> HMU @ araneaes on Instagram _(:3」∠)_


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